Decisions decisions...

I was struck this week by reading the quote by John Gardner in Love’s Executioner: “Things fade, alternatives exclude.” He goes on to explain that the word “decide” actually means “slay” as in homicide or suicide. So we fear decisions because they kill other options. Every time we make a choice, we are ruling out other alternatives in the hope that what we have chosen will be the best option for us. No wonder we often stand paralyzed in the face of change! No wonder so many people are desperate to lose or gain control over their lives –to manipulate everything and everyone to their complete power, or to give themselves up to alcohol, drugs, or the
authority of whatever their problem is. Our helplessness itself then becomes a security –
we are no longer responsible for our own actions. It is choosing the freedom of slavery.
Maybe this is why people cling to the idea of re-incarnation? They want a chance to do
things over again; another swing at “the right choice.”
On the flip side, assuming responsibility also gives us freedom. Deciding to trust God
slays our fears. Deciding to love an enemy slays bitterness. Deciding to take on the new
man of Christ slays the slavery of self, and releases us to the captivity of love. It is
another freedom, and yet another slavery. I am secured by the boundaries of love, of law
and of grace and yet my sin is removed as far from me as the east is from the west! I give up control and assume action. I relinquish guilt and take on motivation, love, joy and thanksgiving. What a glorious prison is mine! What a glorious freedom is mine!