Sunrise

It is a warm morning
the rising sun is amber
like oranges on market day
reflecting off the knife
that lies on cold gray concrete.

It is a damp morning
her stringy hair floats in a puddle
drifting slowly down the street
red river.

It is a still morning
the hush
broken only by the insipid twanging
of a guitar with one string missing
he shuffles slowly down the street
pausing in front of her lifeless figure
his weathered face
fills with regret
and a trace of envy

It is a new morning
far away
a mother sits up in bed
her heart slowly tears itself in pieces
and she screams
the agony of a woman
who has lost all hope

the sparkling eyes of her daughter
smile down
at the busy morning shoppers

Missing.

Those who are empty in themselves are those who Christ call fill.

Is it in you to detest yourself?
Is it in you to hate the shreds of righteousness we pull together to tightly
to conceal our naked bodies?
Is it in you to let them go?
To bare yourself constantly before your just King
of absolute perfection?
To all Him to take off His own robe.
To be meekly slaughtered by the "holy men" of the world.
To quietly be laughed at
The laughter of a mockery accumulated by the sins of thousands of souls.
Can you hide in Him?
Can you hide in the place most secure, exposed, peaceful, painful and completely at rest?
Bloody and as white as snow.
Terrible and yet the most beautiful story that could touch your life.
Can you hide in the cross?
Can you shove aside the countless idols cluttering up the shelves of your heart?
Can He abide in you?
Is there room for heaven in our hearts?
There are mansions fr our hearts and bodies in heaven.
And yet today did it ever cross your mind?
With us.
In us.
Surrounding us.
Preparing us.
Washing us.
Burning us.
The already and the not yet.
The kingdom is here
and eternity awaits.

I found this in an old sermon notebook. The sermon was by Rev. Overgaauw on John 6:35-58.

It's in the moments

Stillness triggers
chords
in a song that I've forgotten
or maybe only heard
before my birth
calling me back again
In the moments
a long drive home
pretending to be asleep
so my Daddy can
carry me in
safer than anything
trying not to smile
It's in the moments
conversations in the quiet
kindred spirits
no spoken word
when the sun slips over the horizon
the world is bathed
in golden promises
I notice it for the first time
again
and the English language fails
It's in the moments
when the music of Gods children
stands on tiptoes
to peek through golden gates
It's in the moments
Heaven is alive.

Cullinary Allegories

sometimes pride is a cheesecake.
the first bite
sweet and powerful
the second
only a little less so
a little while later
my stomach is heavy
my mouth craves more
cut me another slab.
rich and revolting
I cannot stop eating
my mouth grows thick
my insides are coated
blocked.

Blueberries with that?



P.S. THIS IS WEIRD I KNOW. But feel free to say so anyway.

Trust

Prostrate lie
before thy throne
upon thy grace
empty now
surrender now
trusting now?

Nothing left for You
Save this broken heart
broken to be shaped
broken to be recreated
broken to trust?

Every step
too big for me
You carry me
squirming
wriggling
You put me down
momentarily
I am at Your knees again
on my knees again
Daddy pick me up.


At the seminar on Monday the speaker said that the original meaning of trust was like laying prostrate, flat on your face... depending. Interesting. Such a big word... such a vital part of simply being able to function in life. So many things we will spend a lifetime... an eternity.!.. learning.

Call

endless circles in my soul
endless smiles on my heart
watching clouds of life roll by
we were different from the start

oh my friend do you wonder
why He gave this to us?
echoes of a far away thunder
why is it never enough.

we were made for more than this,
what are we getting ready for?
what does He call this plan of his?
we were made for more
we were made for more.


I'd be interested to hear what you thought when you read this. I just made it up on the spot because I was in the mood, but also because these things have been pretty strongly on my heart as of late. Discussion welcome!

Pictures!

Check my facebook album here.

Home Sweet Home.

...being confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will complete it until the day of Jesus Christ;

Phil 1:6

WE'RE STUCK AGAIN!!!

So we found out we had to leave this morning because Scott needed the van tomorrow morning.

We packed up the van 

AGAIN

We said goodbye

AGAIN

We stopped at Macdonalds

AGAIN

We drove for 8 miles and broke down

AGAIN.

The problem looks like the radiator which costs a ton and since the van is junk anyway we don't know if we are going to fix it or find some other way to get home.

If anyone ever tells you God doesn't have a sense of humor.......

Laugh at them.

not much

So the van is almost fixed, and we shall be home probably on saturday night!

This week has been totally different than last, but great in other ways.  God is good!

As always, keep praying.

IT'S NOT OVER YET!!

Oh the adventures of life....

So we left this morning, resigned to the sad but inevitable fact that our time here was over.... apparently God had other plans! Which fact we realized while sitting at the side of the road in the middle of nowhere 22 miles out of Winner with a shot water pump on our lovely conversion van.

So we are now home sweet home at Winner, waiting for the word from the nonexistent mechanics enjoying their lovely weekend off.

SO, earliest we can even get the van fixed IF we can get it fixed (it's a bit of a relic) is Monday, which renders it impossible for Lizzi get back for her all important luncheon on Wednesday... Sooooo.... We will see how long we end up staying! I am hoping another full week but we'll see.

I shall update when we figure out what's going on, but right now I am going to go enjoy one more day in South Dakota!

Keep praying!

exceedingly abundantly.

The last couple of days have been pretty chalk full of our amazing God.

I have not had a trip so far that I could spent this much time just hanging out and building relationships, and I am super thankful for it.

Bible club is going super well too. Crazy thing is it's actually a lot easier to run it with 4 people than it ever was with 15. But they all know what to expect now too after doing it with Andrew.

Tuesday was a pretty big day for Bible club, I was leading the lesson so we ended up doing a skit on David and Goliath. It was great, I even had a couple of the kids practice it with us. They all loved it. Games that night was water balloon and shaving cream WAR! It probably looked pretty funny, 15 snowmen running around on the basketball court. It was kinda hard to tell who was who after a while. :-) Unfortunately that had to be the day that I forgot my camera. :-( I have been slacking off with picture taking, except last night because I drove an hour with a van full of kids on my way to the little league baseball game with Andrew, since he's one of the coaches and he wanted some help. It was good fun, it was their first ever game and they got slaughtered... it didn't help that they were missing one player, another player got hurt pretty bad, and the other team was way older. The other team was pretty nice about it though. Some of our kids were actually asking who won at the end. hehe. Hopefully Aaron is ok though. I am guessing dislocated shoulder and hoping it's not worse than that!

Anyway, we don't have any extra-ordinary plans for today as far as I know, but we have some cool stuff lined up. Thanks so much for your prayers and support!

Hello again!

So yesterday was our first day, and it was amazing.

It was a little different than the rest of this week is gonna be, because we had to leave here at 10:30 to go to a funeral of one of the old men in Okreek, who everybody knew and who Andrew and Melany had spent a lot of time talking to. It was an Episcopalian service, and pretty sad. It is awful to here these words that are meant to bring hope and happiness, yet entirely devoid of meaning, because the people speaking them are also basically saying it doesn't even matter. God knew Terry's heart, but Andrew and Daniel are very hopeful.

After Terry's funeral and the big community lunch we cleaned the gym and spent some time just resting, hanging out with the kids, and some of us went to watch baseball practice for a couple hours. Keep in mind that all these updates are only from my point of view, which is the same as half the people, the rest are working with the older kids.

Bible club is from 7-9 every evening, yesterday went really well. We had 13 kids, which is up from the normal 5 that Andrew has when he does it every Saturday. We follow the same basic schedule as before, singing, story, activity, snack and games.

Then we came home and had dinner at like 10:30... didn't get to bed til 1. Yikes. Hopefully that won't continue. But we are going to bring sandwiches most days so that should help. Needless to say our mornings are pretty laid back, sleep in, eat breakfast, have worship time, have lunch, do some prep and then head out for around 3 when the kids get off the bus from summer school.

Please keep praying for us. The guys living here are pretty burnt out. Blending ordinary life and extra-ordinary vision requires.... well, the extra-ordinary. Which of course is no problem for our Awesome God.

Here we go...!!!

Sooo... we are in SD at Melany's lovely little apartment, waiting for breakfast and getting ready for our first day. Like I said in the last post things are going to be quite different, but I am really excited for how it's all going to work out. A lot of it we don't really know yet but we will be doing Bible club every night 7-9, and spending time in the afternoon just hanging out/potentially helping out with Okreeks summer rec program. So I will let you know how that all goes!

I am really loving being here with such a small team. For one thing, the drive up was lovely, without having to time rest stops for 30 different people... if you catch my drift. hehe. Yesterday we had a ton of time just to talk with each other and it was so encouraging for me. There is going to be a lot of relationship building this week, both with each other and the kids. To God Be the Glory!

the adventure begins once more...

...and we are in Wisconsin!
The drive up was lovely, and the sun is shining over Beloit Wisconsin as we enjoy one lazy day with our dear sweet cousins before driving to SD all day tomorrow!

I don't know what my internet is going to be like this year, but I shall try to keep you all updated somewhat!

So there will be a very small team this year, for girls only Lizzi and I and our two cousins Melany and Leahbeth. (which is very very cool) We will be staying at Melany's apartment in Winner and the guys (four of them too) will be staying at Andrew and Daniels apartment.

It looks like we're doing an evening vbs maybe? But not too many plans have been made at all with people scattered all over the country, so once we're there I'm sure we'll figure things out.

It is going to be super super different and I am going to miss the team a whole lot, but I am so excited to see what God is going to do this year.

Thanks for keeping us in your prayers!

Perspective

When my heart has forgotten
What my head knows so well
Restore me oh Lord.
When the echoes of God's music
are distant song
Renew a right spirit
When "life" steals my passion
the Joy of my Salvation
Show me a mirror
Break me again
Show me Your face
fill me overflowing.

To be Broken

Can life be too amazing?
We know we've got it good
Tickets to heaven
burning a hole in my pocket
Don't say when this train is leaving.
Sunny beaches sunny days
He says He's living water.
My hearts cry
Deafening in the moment
then an echo
bouncing off one thing after another
Until I don't know where it's coming from.
Living in this kingdom
can we be princesses and servants too?
When money's short
and time is past already.
She passed already.
Treasures in heaven
for children of the King.
We're children of the King.

Amazing Grace

we were all a little bit
impatient.
lineups that stretched
halfway down the aisle.
do they think we have all day
to wait for this?
I heard your voice over the commotion
desperate pleading for help.
we turned around, curious.
you were a lost man.
your white cane
frantically waving it's distress.
we didn't know what to say.
honey I'm here it's ok over here honey
her voice was your lifeline
we scrambled to get out of your way.
you were shaking as you held on to her
it's ok I'm here it's ok it's ok.
she led you away
like a little child.
the lineup was shorter now.

I am blessed.

I went to the mall the other day. Looked at a bunch of price tags, and felt extremely poor. But I suppose it is to be expected, we have to fee this cultural monster we have created.
It brings us together like nothing else, hundreds of people swarming one building in what you could call a common conquest.
They come in twos... lovestruck teenagers with eyes only for the person they've dreamed up beside them, Mothers with their daughters, trying to get over the fact that they are actually being seen in public with their own parents, yet somehow wishing they could dissolve the boundaries of age and lifestyle between them and this stranger paying for their clothes.
A pair of goths walk by, trying to instill fear and respect into a society that accepts them only long enough to label them. It would work well except for the box of rainbow cookies sticking out of his back pocket.
Another pair of oddities make a circle around the food court, baseball cap, fuzzy mustache, and a shirt tucked in mid rib cage, he walks beside his companion in a wheelchair, his eyes almost daring you to laugh at him. they go around, and around again.
There are women everywhere, selling themselves to society with all their strength, all the while betraying their most precious gifts. There are older women too, half of them ashamed of the fact, doing their utmost to hide it with their age defying creams, clothes, hair & attitude, reminding the world that they are still a force to be reckoned with.
An older man sits at the table next to me, a bemused expression on his face. Maybe he is watching too, like me.
All these people, so incredibly different, so incredibly alike. Slaves to their insecurities, driven to label themselves. And yet while they walk through the very society whose favor they are courting, they are like a sea of bubbles, each person a separate world orbiting this vast universe we call The Mall.
A baby wanders from his mother to pay a visit to another member of his kind. The parents exchange pleasant, slightly embarrassed conversation and bubbles are popping everywhere as people turn around to smile. All of the sudden Matthew 28:3-4 takes on a whole new meaning. The people keep walking by, screaming for God. I finish my drink, throw it in the garbage, and go back to looking at price tags. After all, when you are as Rich as I am, it's much easier to empty your wallet than change your world.

whhyyyyyyy is this blog going bonkers...............

.....................

So I haven't posted in a while, mostly because my life has been so fast paced I haven't really sat down and written anything. But just to retain any blog followers I might actually still have, here is some random musings I read in my notebook from a while back.


*When did this get "normal"?
When did amazing grace
become so commonplace
when did salvation become ordinary life?*

Living my everyday
that passion striving to jump out of my mouth
strapped in tight
with the chains of complacency.
The joy trying desperately
to shine through my eyes
covered by the mask
of "stress"

Have we forgotten that we are a people Redeemed?
Standing before our Maker
Washed clean in His blood!

The flame that burned inside our souls
now quenched
with the water of "self sufficiency"
because if it burned any hotter
we might get uncomfortable
we might have to move
to change this world
we'd rather slowly blend into.

How can we live like we have nothing to prove?
When life itself is crying to be heard.

more new years resolutions...

It's pretty simply, nothing exceptionally amazing... just some things that have been on my heart. And I know it's February... :-) I want to rededicate every part of my life to Jesus, every day again. It's so easy to lose Him in the little things... so.

No Man but Jesus
No Call but Jesus
No Plan but Jesus
My All is Jesus

No Joy but Jesus
No Trust but Jesus
No Hope but Jesus
Enough is Jesus

For the sacrifice that gave us one Hope - The Cross
For the sorrow that gave us one Joy - An empty tomb
For the Truth that gave us one Call - To Follow
For the Book that gave us one Trust - A Master Plan
For the Father who gave us one Inheritance - Eternity
For Love Himself, who showed us what it means
and gave us one thousand reasons for Joy
one thousand reasons to Trust
one thousand reasons for Hope
one thousand reasons to Love
Every one of them Jesus.

By special request... :-)

I have been requested to post my earliest attempts at poetry, so I shall oblige, for your amusement.

This is one of my first recorded ones:

My Balloon

I had a balloon
it looked like a loon
it was green
just like a been
but then I let go
Oh no!
and that was the end of my balloon.

Heidi Luimes, age 8, and Carolyn Devisser, age 10.

Here's a few more... I am not sure when I wrote them, sometime between 8-10 probably

School:

Just plain writing a story
It brings you to a world of glory
Just plain writing a word
it brings you to a world unheard
if anyone does not like school
I would sure call him a fool
Now this is meant as a warning
so see you tomorrow morning
at school.*

*This poem does not express the views of the author. :-P

Listen

Listen to the birdies singing
Listen to their songs of joy
Oh what happy songs they're bringing
Listen every girl and boy

Listen to the wind a blowing
Listen to it's rustling sound
Where oh where is it a going
Listen to the world around

I thank my God for making nature
I thank my God for making me
I thank my God for making beauty
All things around that you can see.

And just one more... (though I have a ton... :-P)
I have posted this a long time ago, but it is still one of my all time favorites. I wrote it when I was 11.

Gluttony's Revenge

The bread on the table was very old
It was mostly covered with disgusting mold
The rats came in three by three
and attacked the bread mightily

Beside the bread lay an old rotten bean
More rotten and gross than anyone's seen
Mold on this bean also had grown
But the rats didn't care, this bean was their own!

The rats now had food, at last! at last!
The place was quiet and nobody passed
But because of their gluttony and because of the chill
The rats soon lay down and forever grew still.

2008

a moment ago
the present
now blending in
with miles of history
some days
leaving tiny dots
on it's great expanse
the majority
weaving themselves in
to the blur of nothingness
that shapes our souls.
the lessons learned
the tears shed
the laughter, the pain
the mistakes, the forgiveness
in the ordinary moments
saved for no ones scrapbook
yet firmly embedded into our identity
and carefully carried
by the One
who counts our days
holds our lives
and gives us 525600 times a year
the gift
of another moment.